The Power of Music

The NICU staff recommended that we bring music that we listened to during the pregnancy in to play for Avigayil. They said it would help her. I have to admit, I was skeptical. I mean, I like music and we even listen to relaxing music every night to help us fall asleep. While I did feel that it might be something that she could recognize and maybe make her more comfortable, I was skeptical that it would have a noticeable medical effect.

Then I saw the harp.

The NICU is a high stress environment. Everyone there simply exudes stress, from the worried parents to the harried nurses to the overtaxed doctors. It is also very stressful for the babies themselves. They pick up on the stress of everyone around them, are stressed physically from being so sick, and often are sensitive to noise and so are stressed by all the alarms going off around them constantly. To counteract this and help the babies relax the hospital brings in a harpist twice a week to play for the babies. She sits in each room and plays for them.

When she came to our room I watched as Avigayil became stiller, her heart rate dropped and her breathing evened out. For the entire time the lady was playing she not only was calmer, her stats were actually better. I was genuinely amazed. I was also still slightly skeptical, it could have been a fluke. Then a few day later she came back. This time she stopped in the middle and I saw Avigayil’s stats get worse. When she started playing again her stats got better. Then the cleaning crew came by with a floor buffer. For a moment we couldn’t hear the music and again her heart rate went up only to drop when she could hear the harp again. After that I was a believer.

We now bring relaxing piano music to her every day. It really does seem to make her better. It’s hard to believe that someone so small has distinct music tastes, but she does. She likes slow piano music and she likes harp music. She does not like music that is intense. I always believed that music had the power to make us feel, but now I also believe that it can heal.

In other news, Avigayil nursed today for the first time! She is very slow and needs to take breaks to rest and breaks to breathe, but she did it. She is four weeks old and today is the first time that I nursed my baby. I feel so much better. To me this signifies two things. First, eating is a sign of life. All living things eat in one way or another. The fact that she finally was able to take a meal in the “normal” way (ie, by mouth) is huge. Second, nursing is an incredible bonding activity between mother and child. It brings the two to be dependent on each other and allows a mother to give completely of herself to her child in a way that she will not be able to later, also in a way that no one else can (a mother’s milk is uniquely suited to her child’s age and needs). Now that she has done it once, we have to get her to do it again and then again and then get used to taking meals this way. However, achieving this first step makes me feel like we are on our way.   

We have come a long way and still have a long way to go. Few have travelled a similar path and no one has travelled this exact path. There is no way anyone can tell us how this journey will go or how it will end. No plan is possible, no map exists. Some days feel endless, others dark and scary. Today however, we came to a place in the sun. We will take its brightness to warm us on days when the light is harder to find.