I Found All The Crazy People

My roommate gave birth yesterday at 4:30am. B”H (Thank G-d) she is doing fine. Her baby was 1.5 kilo and is in the NICU but he seems to be doing well. The nurses decided I should move into her spot since it is more private and closer to the window.  However her bed was broken (it can go up but not down) so a few nurses came in and switched the bed. They helped me take down all the signs and decorations that the kids made for me and rehang them in the new space. We moved my hat collection (population 5) into its new home as well. I switched closets and once I was all settled the nurses left me to acclimate.

I had the room all to myself for about 12 hours before getting a new roommate. The nurses were so nice and tried to fill that bed last. After another 12 hours with my new roommate I am joining in her fervent hopes that she be discharged today or tomorrow.

I had another interesting experience yesterday. I have been in quite a lot of pain since Shabbos (Saturday). The doctors were afraid that my hernia may have reoccurred and wanted a surgeon to check me. After a day and a half of trying to get a surgeon to come up they decided to send me down to the surgical ER. Here, I discovered why they were not coming up – it was PACKED!! I haven’t been around that many people or seen that much activity in at least the month that I have been here. It looked like the shuk only with more urgency.

This would never have fazed me before but I guess the past month in the relative quiet of the high risk ward has made me a little more sensitive (don’t worry, that will be gone about 5 minutes after I get home).

There were a lot of “interesting” characters in the ER.  The most eccentric was a crazy lady that they were trying to get committed. She needed some kind of surgery and didn’t want it, but was clearly not all there.  She would randomly break into song (see Mom, it is NOT normal), and alternate between singing and screaming at people. At one point she tried to seduce the doctor while protesting the government (OK, pretesting the government was probably the most sane thing she did). She kept yelling to the doctor not to call a psychologist because she said, it wouldn't do any good. Little by little she snuck her catheter out by herself and then threw it at the nurse. She seemed to be particularly proud of this achievement and happily treated us all to a detailed explanation of how she pulled it off. (Just in case you are in suspense, in the end she was committed.) 

This would have been interesting enough, but there was a lonely old man waiting for surgery who decided to talk to her. The two kept debating back and forth (between her other antics) about appropriate behavior in the ER, the state of medical care in Israel, whether or not doctors should spend more time in school and a host of other things. Then there was the guy who kept emptying his catheter bag on the floor, the people who wanted to dance in the middle of the ER and well, you get the point. I guess really, none of this is unusual for a big, busy hospital in the middle of a large city. The nurse said it was just a little unusual that there were that many at one time.  As I reflect on my amazing ability to attract crazy people I can't help but think it was all in my honor.

A few weeks ago some random lady walked into my room and made herself at home. She sat down and started to talk to me. Well, I’m pretty friendly so I talked to her for a little bit.  However, after 20 minutes she was still there and asking some very personal questions. I decided to tell her I was tired and needed to sleep. She agreed but didn’t get up, so I got into bed and pretended to go to sleep. She just sat there and watched me! I was starting to get a little nervous but didn’t really know what to do. Thankfully, my roommate realized what was going on and asked the nurses to relocate the lady.  Of all the people on all the floors in the hospital, she chose me. This is pretty typical of my life. I guess I should take comfort in knowing that one aspect of life hasn’t been completely interrupted.

As for a medical update, the doctors are still debating about the baby but the good news is that after the hours I spent with the surgeons they decided I do not have a hernia. Instead they think there is an infection under my surgical scar (apparently they can see that in the ultrasound, but have no idea how I would have gotten one there of all places). We are waiting for the results of the blood test and for an infectologist (I promise that, despite what spell check thinks, I didn’t make that word up) to come examine me. Then, if everything is positive, they will try to find an antibiotic that I am not allergic to (I'm deathly allergic to most of them) and that can be taken during pregnancy.  The fun continues…..