An Update and Our Children React

My AFI had gone up (which is good) but now it is back down again (although not as low as before). Since the fluid is so low and the baby is not in the best position they have not been able to measure the blood flow in the heart. Hopefully, the ultrasound on Sunday will be able to see it. In the meantime, they are going to start me on blood thinners to see if we can prolong the pregnancy even more. Ideally, it would be best to stay pregnant as long as possible. Part of the problem is that there is restricted blood flow, this has been causing many of the problems. There is currently no way to fix this. The idea here however, is that the blood thinners could help to increase blood flow and help the baby grow thereby possibly prolonging the pregnancy more than they thought until now. (It’s worth a try!) I’ve been on some painkillers and am a bit more comfortable now. Also, I was having some contractions, but they seemed to stop when the fluid levels went up. All of this is good news. I will keep you updated.

I am once again preparing for Shabbos here. This will be my third Shabbos in the hospital. This week, Dov and the kids are going to try to come after school before Shabbos. I’m really looking forward to that. The last time they came they decorated my room with signs and drawings.  I know this is hard on them and that they don’t fully understand why I can’t be home with them. They are getting less attention and being asked to help more around the house. They have really been good under the circumstances and I hope one day this will just be a memory for them. 

We have started talking to them a bit about what is going on. At first we just told them that Ima (Mommy) is not well and has to go to the hospital. We did not want them to resent the baby for taking me away for so long so we did not connect everything that has been going on over the last few months with the baby. However, after discussing this with a few social workers and child therapists we decided that the time has come to let them know. We live in a society where babies are very common and all children more or less know the procedure. Ima goes to the hospital for a few days and comes home with a baby. Since that is not what is happening in our case we were advised to let them know in advance so it would not be too traumatic.

We have now told them that Ima and the baby are not well. That is why I am here. We explained that only Hashem (G-d) can know what will happen, but when the baby is born it will probably be too small to come home right away. Shimmy wanted to know if he could come visit the baby. We explained that only Abba and Ima will be allowed to go where the baby is going to stay. I told the children that there was one thing that they could do to help.  That was to daven (pray) to Hashem that everything would work out for the best and that we will be blessed with a healthy baby and a healthy Ima.

I was not sure that Yisroel Meir, our 5 year old, really understood however, he really took this to heart. The next day he told me that he went to school and told his Morah (teacher) what was going on and asked the whole class to say tehillim (psalms) for me and the baby. He said they went across the street to the shul and all said some tehillim for us. My little boy saw danger and turned directly to Hashem for salvation. He understood that as many teffilos (prayers) as possible always helps and he galvanized his friends to storm the gates of heaven with him. This was the best reaction I could have hoped for. I could not have been prouder.