50 Days

Today is Avigayil's 50th day of life. 50 days in the NICU. She is still on very high levels of O2 and the flow is still also very high. She is getting daily physical therapy and we are going to try to get it for her in the evening as well.

I have had a lot of time to think about things recently. How hard life has been for sure, but also about the amazing relationships we have built with the NICU staff and parents, about how incredible our community has been, about our wonderful neighbors and about how amazing people in general have been. I've been thinking about the many things that haven't gone wrong also. Today has been a rough day and I am exhausted, but IY"H (with G-d's help) I hope to share an expanded version of these thoughts with you soon. For now I will just write about one aspect.

 The NICU Staff

The staff in the NICU have been amazing. S is the secretary and usually the first person I see every morning. She is great. She always greats me with a smile and is the address to go to when you need anything. She has also helped to get appointments with doctors and to pester the right people when I needed things in a hurry.

 The nurses are also incredible. It's hard to explain what it is like to relinquish the care of your daughter, your tiny, newborn baby to strangers. The nurses understand what we are going through and love Avigayil and take are of her like she was their own. So many times they have told me how they where praying for her or thinking of her in their off time. One of them brought her a picture book to open in her crib so she would have something to look at. They fight for her and are not afraid to get in someone's face if they think it will help her. When I'm tired, afraid or just don't know what to do, they pick up the ball and charge ahead to do battle for her. I can't tell you how amazing they are.

 K is Avigayil's physical therapist. She comes every morning to treat her and usually ends up giving me some emotional therapy as well. She is positive, funny and tons of fun. I look forward to talking to her everyday. It's one of the highlights of my day.

The residents are very nice and helpful. I have become particularly close to two of them. One is R. She is always there to explain things to me and makes me feel like a friend. N is the other one. He is very encouraging and patient. He understands how to heal not just the babies but their parents also. Today when I was feeling particularly low and on the verge of tears he encouraged me to cry and then brought me chocolate. What better medicine is there?

The senior doctors are attentive and helpful. However one particular doctor has really won our hearts. Dr. I was Avigayil's doctor when she was born. She took the time to talk to us every day and even after she moved to the step-down unit (the doctors switch each month) she comes back to the intensive care unit to check on Avigayil frequently and still answers any questions we have about her care.

The head of the unit Professor S is very kind and responsive. He makes time to talk to me when I need it and has always helped me any way he can. His philosophy is that they are treating not just the baby but also the family. He says that they are not two separate entities but parts of the same whole. This attitude is felt throughout the NICU.