Challenges

Many people see life as a series of problems and irritations. As Jews, we see the world as being full of challenges and tests. We believe that Hashem sends us challenges in order for us to grow. Every challenge in life, big or small, is an opportunity to work on yourself, to work on some trait that needs improving. However, some challenges are so large that you have no choice but to change who you are. 
Being a preemie mom often means going on when you no longer have the strength, fighting when you no longer have any fight left and getting up to greet each day with a smile, a tear and a prayer. Although I see myself as a whole person and as more than the mother of a preemie, being a preemie mom has changed the way I see the world.

No pregnancy or parenting book could ever have prepared me for the challenges we have faced and still do every day. Although many books dedicate a chapter to the premature baby and some books are written especially for preemies, there is no way a person can truly understand what they are in for until you are standing in the NICU, outside a plastic box where your child lies on life support. There are no words to express the thoughts that go through your mind when you hear the words "chances of survival." Nothing can describe the sheer terror that winter holds until you are rushed to the hospital twice in one month for "only" a virus, knowing that that a "simple" cold could kill your child. 

Avigayil still has such a long road ahead of her, its easy to despair. However, another thing that being a preemie mom has taught me, is that Hashem makes incredible miracles.  He has held us through all of this and it is His will that this change us in this way.  May we always take from every challenge the lessons He wants us to learn and become the people He wants us to be.